30 Days to Create an Adversary!

skyeteam leadership development why relationships turn sour

This is one of those counterpoint articles. With Cultivate and the keynote presentations I am asked to deliver, my work is firmly focused on nurturing and maintaining Ally relationships. However, every now and then I will be asked why relationships turn sour, what causes an Adversarial relationship to develop.

If any of these 30 ways to damage a working relationship look familiar to you then STOP! Don’t wait for the inevitable proverbial train-wreck.  Take action to turn your behavior, and the relationship, around now, before your allies become adversaries.

  1. Treating colleagues as an inconvenience.
  2. Allowing your meetings to be forums for politicking and unhealthy conflict.
  3. Holding meetings that are like watching paint dry, dull and boring with no candor & debate.
  4. When it comes to problem solving firefighting is the norm rather than a focus on fire prevention.
  5. Communication is nonexistent. “It’s not that we’re excluding you. It’s just that we aren’t including you.” (real quote to a colleague).
  6. Over promise and under deliver is the norm.
  7. The end result is excellent, but the process of getting there is stressful and painful.
  8. High employee turnover creates confusion and is ignored or dismissed as unimportant.
  9. The ‘hero/ine mentality’ is rewarded where success is about individual performance and not team performance.
  10. High performance and great results are celebrated even when the cost is damaged relationships throughout the business.
  11. Employees feel taken for granted.
  12. Success leads to laziness and complacency.
  13. There are plenty of ideas for improvement but little or no follow-through. (all mouth and no action)
  14. Employees are treated like a number.
  15. You are expected to be a Jack of all trades, master of none.
  16. Reworking the rework is not uncommon.
  17. There’s an elephant in the room, a gorilla in the corner, a moose on the table… you get the idea
  18. There’s no fun or passion.
  19. Promises are broken for the sake of convenience.
  20. Feedback lives in the realm of “nice” where people dodge the truth rather than sharing what needs to be said.
  21. Finger pointing is rife. There’s no individual or team accountability.
  22. Team members don’t know who is on the team.
  23. Trust is non-existent.
  24. Employees do their best work only when closely monitored.
  25. Employees breach privacy and security information.
  26. Learning and continuous improvement are non-existent.
  27. There’s no pride in team performance or results.
  28. It’s hard to get a straight answer from anyone because no one’s on the same page.
  29. Employees spend more time saying what they’re going to do rather than actually doing it well.
  30. Talk about each other rather than to each other.

There you have it. 30 No-No’s guaranteed to result in a less than stellar professional relationship. What would you add to this list of things to avoid?