Why So Many People Feel Lonely at Work, Even Surrounded by Colleagues
Recent research shows that loneliness can reduce psychological safety by almost half. Feeling lonely at work is not, as most people assume, a remote-work problem. The people most affected are the colleagues sitting right beside you.
This has happened to me twice now. At two separate conferences in different cities, with different audiences, the result was the same. After I gave my keynote about why “fine” is the most dangerous word at work, leaders came up to me and quietly admitted, “I feel completely alone at work.”
They are not lonely at home, but at work. Even though they are surrounded by colleagues, respected, and getting results, they still feel completely disconnected.
Whenever someone tells me that loneliness feels like a personal failure, as if it’s something they should have solved already, it makes me pause. They speak as if they are the only one feeling this way. The hardest part of my job is knowing they are not alone. Far from it.
The data confirms what they already knew
The 2025 Fearless Report, based on Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety, surveyed over 5,500 professionals in 33 countries. The main finding is striking: people who said they “always” feel lonely at work scored 42 on the psychological safety index, while those who said “never” scored 80. That’s a 38-point difference. Loneliness almost halves psychological safety.
But the most important finding is not at the extremes. It’s the sharp drop in the middle. Workers who said they “sometimes” feel lonely scored 71. If they moved to “often,” their score dropped to 57, which researchers call a “culture of silence.” This change happens suddenly, not gradually. About 24% of workers—almost one in four—are at this tipping point.
Our own research supports this one-in-four finding. In the Ally Mindset™ Profile data from the leaders and teams we work with, one in five people said they have no meaningful relationships at work. These are not disengaged employees. Many are high performers who have learned to keep their heads down, focus on results, and say “I’m fine” when asked.
Why Feeling Lonely at Work Doesn’t Match the Remote-Work Assumption
This finding goes against what most people expect. You might think remote workers are the loneliest, but they are not. The Fearless Report found that people required to work in the office scored 15 points lower on psychological safety than hybrid workers. Just being in the same building does not create real connection. Instead, it creates an expectation of connection. When that expectation is not met, day after day, the gap between what you hoped for and what you actually get can feel even worse than being apart.
In our Better Together workshops we explore four types of workplace relationships: Ally, Supporter, Rival, and Adversary. The main difference between them is whether there are conditions. An Ally says “I do this” with no strings attached. A Supporter says “I’ll do this when you do that.” Most workplace relationships fall into the Supporter category—they are polite, professional, and mostly transactional.
People who feel lonely at work rarely move beyond this point. It’s not because they don’t want a deeper connection, but because no one takes the first step. No one breaks the pattern or shifts from asking “what do you need from me on this project?” to “how are you really doing?”
The Fearless Report also shows the impact: lonely workers rated Open Conversation—the ability to bring up tough issues—much lower than those who feel connected. They stop speaking up. They stop sharing honest disagreements that teams need. They stop being the colleague who says “I think we’re making a mistake” because that kind of honesty needs trust, and trust comes from real connection, which only happens when someone cares enough to build it.
The team can’t protect you if you can’t feel it
The report found something that should concern leaders. For most people, their immediate team feels safer than the larger organization. But for the loneliest workers, this team advantage almost disappears. The support of a good team is missing for those who need it most.
These workers are physically present but not truly connected. They hear invitations to speak up but do not trust them. They see others being open but cannot do the same themselves. Since they continue to deliver results, no one notices their struggle.
The report also found a 30-point difference in psychological safety between people planning to stay and those planning to leave. But 29% were “neutral,” still undecided. Their psychological safety had already dropped to 71 before they even thought about leaving. By the time someone actually leaves, the disconnection started months earlier, in every meeting where no one checked in on them as a person, and in every “I’m fine” that no one questioned.
What you can do about it
You don’t need a special program to address loneliness on your team. What you need is a regular practice.
Don’t accept “fine” as an answer. When you ask someone how they are and they say “fine,” it doesn’t tell you anything. It’s like a door closing. You don’t have to force it open, but you can let them know you’re there: “If that changes, I’m here.” Or ask a question that’s harder to brush off, like “What’s been the hardest part of your week?” The people who seem to be doing “fine” are often the ones struggling the most. This isn’t about being an introvert or extrovert, or being quiet or loud. Loneliness doesn’t fit a personality type. It follows a pattern: someone who looks like they’re doing well, but really isn’t.
Think about who depends on you, and who you depend on. Most people can name their manager and direct reports, but fewer can name a peer whose success is tied to theirs, or a colleague who would notice if they were gone for a week. If you can’t answer these questions, your workplace relationships have gaps. If your team members can’t answer them either, loneliness isn’t just a risk—it’s already there.
Be the first to reach out. Loneliness continues because everyone waits for someone else to make the first move. You can be that person. It doesn’t have to be a big gesture—just a real one. Mention something you noticed about their work. Ask about something they mentioned last week that wasn’t related to a task. Walk over to their desk instead of sending a message. These moments aren’t small. They are the actions that turn a Supporter into an Ally, and Ally relationships are the strongest defense against workplace loneliness.
Loneliness is not a personal failure. It’s a problem with the way relationships are built at work.
The World Health Organization now calls social disconnection a global health crisis, linking it to a 30% higher risk of stroke and heart disease. Yet in workplaces, we still treat loneliness as something individuals should fix on their own, by being more resilient, networking more, or working harder.
But that’s not the case. Loneliness is a sign that workplace relationships have become purely transactional, and no one has put in the effort to change that.
The leaders who spoke to me after those two keynotes didn’t need a wellness program. They needed someone to look past “fine” and ask a real question. Any of us can do that, starting today. It’s not just a strategy—it’s a choice.
Frequently Asked Questions About Workplace Loneliness
What is the Relationship Ecosystem™, and how does it explain workplace loneliness?
The Relationship Ecosystem™, from my book Cultivate: The Power of Winning Relationships, identifies four dynamics: Ally, Supporter, Rival, and Adversary. Most workplace relationships stall at Supporter, a conditional, transactional level. Loneliness persists when no one moves a relationship from Supporter to Ally, where support has no strings attached.
What does the Ally Mindset™ Profile data reveal about loneliness at work?
Our Ally Mindset™ Profile assessment data, drawn from more than 1,100 respondents, found that one in five people report having no meaningful relationships at work. These aren’t disengaged employees. Many are high performers who mask disconnection by staying focused on results and defaulting to “I’m fine.” Complete your profile at: skyeteam.cloud/youmewe.
Why is “fine” considered a dangerous answer at work?
“Fine” shuts down the conversation before it starts. In Morag’s keynote “Fine Is a Four-Letter Word,” she argues that leaders who accept “fine” at face value miss the early signals of disconnection. Replacing that question with something harder to deflect, like asking about the hardest part of someone’s week, surfaces what’s actually going on.
Morag Barrett is a keynote speaker, executive coach, USA Today bestselling author, and founder of SkyeTeam. Her work helps leaders strengthen workplace relationships, leadership trust, and human connection in increasingly disconnected workplaces. Through her keynotes, executive coaching, and books — including Cultivate and You, Me, We — Morag gives leaders practical tools to build Meaning-FULL Connectivity™, improve collaboration, and create high-performing teams. A member of Marshall Goldsmith’s 100 Coaches and regular contributor to Fast Company, Morag has worked with leaders and organizations around the world to help people perform better together.
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