Connection at Work: Combating Loneliness and Building Relationships

Loneliness isn’t just a personal issue anymore—it’s a public health crisis. Dr. Vivek Murthy, the U.S. Surgeon General, recently declared an epidemic of loneliness, which has only fueled my mission to foster connection at work. The findings Dr Murthy highlights in his report are eerily similar to the insights I’ve gathered through research for both Cultivate: The Power of Winning Relationships and You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work (and How to Show Up as One!).

In a world that feels increasingly disconnected, fostering connection at work has become crucial for leaders seeking to combat loneliness. Loneliness isn’t about how many people are around us; the quality and depth of connection matter. I’ve felt lonely sitting on my sofa, surrounded by family and friends. I’ve experienced that same hollow feeling facilitating a leadership program with colleagues. I’ve even felt it in a crowded coffee shop in Manhattan, surrounded by millions. Loneliness can creep in anywhere, leaving you feeling disconnected from people and your work. It’s exhausting, and it’s time we do something about it.

The Heartbreaking Reality of Loneliness at Work

Loneliness doesn’t just impact those working from home. Leaders at all levels are navigating their roles in isolation. As leaders climb the corporate ladder, the gap between them and their peers often widens, leaving them with fewer close, trustworthy confidants. As a leader I’m coaching told me, “I have no one else I can share this with. I don’t feel like anyone has my back.” The impact of this isn’t just personal—it’s cultural. It affects team effectiveness, performance, and ultimately, the bottom line.

In fact, more than 1,000 leaders shared their experiences through our Ally Mindset™ Profile, and more than 20% said they have no friends or allies at work. Let that sink in: one in five leaders are going it alone. That’s heartbreaking, especially in a world where hybrid and remote work are becoming the norm. An article in Fortune also found that workplace loneliness hits women in leadership particularly hard, adding another layer to the problem.

Loneliness isn’t about being physically alone—it’s a chronic feeling of disconnection. Ironically, it often causes us to pull further away from others when what we need most is to lean in. It can happen to anyone, anytime, extroverts and introverts alike.

The Cost of Loneliness to Leaders and Organizations

Loneliness takes a heavy toll on leaders. It reduces engagement, creativity, and trust. According to McKinsey & Co., a whopping 75% of employees say that interactions with their boss are the most stressful part of their day. If leaders themselves are disconnected, they can’t lead with empathy or create a sense of belonging.

Dr Murthy’s research even compares the physical health effects of loneliness to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. That’s not minor. Loneliness is a significant driver of burnout, disengagement, and turnover.

Creating Cultures of Connection at Work

Here’s the kicker: with all the technology at our fingertips, we have the illusion of connection, but it’s just that—an illusion. Remote work and endless Zoom meetings can easily mask the absence of real, meaningful connections. If you’ve ever “fake perkied” your way through a Zoom call while internally dealing with stress or loneliness, you know what I mean. It’s kind of like this singing cat video—“Sometimes I’m alone, sometimes I’m not,” but all in all it can feel pretty lonely, right?

To break this pattern and create cultures of connection, we need to be deeply present. Technology can’t replace human connection. We must see and engage with the person behind the screen, not just the task they’re working on. Leaders, this starts with you.

Shifting Focus: From Tasks to Connection at Work

As leaders, it is crucial to shine a light on this issue. It is not our responsibility to “fix” loneliness. Still, we can create an environment where connection at work thrives, and people feel like they belong. My research shows that employees often feel their leaders are checking in on what they are doing (the tasks) but not on how they are doing (their emotional well-being). Let’s slow down and create the space for a genuine connection to combat this. We can create connections at work by focusing on human relationships and not just tasks.

Here’s how:

1. Check-in on the Whole Person: Forget the to-do list for a moment. Ask your team members how they feel—mentally, emotionally, socially.
2. Foster Psychological Safety: Create an environment where vulnerability is okay. When leaders share their own experiences of loneliness, it builds trust and normalizes these conversations.
3. Encourage Peer Connection: Formal mentorship programs are great, but informal social events can be just as powerful. Help your team build a network of support to reduce isolation.
4. Promote Inclusion in Hybrid and Remote Teams: Remote work can amplify isolation. Leverage virtual tools to engage everyone, regardless of where they work.
5. Lead by Example: Vulnerability isn’t a weakness; it’s a leadership superpower. Share your stories, and you’ll also give your team permission to open up.

Connection Starts With the Leader

Leaders aren’t immune to loneliness. It’s easy to feel isolated at the top, feeling distanced from your peers. I’ve been there, feeling alone even while surrounded by others. The key is recognizing when loneliness creeps in and leaning into your relationships rather than withdrawing.

We all need solitude at times, but loneliness—especially at work—is different. It erodes our ability to be present, engaged, and effective. The solution lies in prioritizing meaningful human connections, not sidelining them.

Connection Starts with You

It’s time to stop merely checking in on what employees are doing and start checking in on how they’re doing. Leaders can create a culture where everyone feels like they belong. Connection at work begins with self-awareness, a little vulnerability, and creating environments where peer connections can thrive. To create lasting change, leaders must prioritize connection at work and take the first steps to combat loneliness.

For You: So, how are you doing? On a scale where 1 means “disconnected/running on fumes” and 10 means “connected/firing on all cylinders,” what’s your score? And what would it take to raise that score by just one point?

For Others: How are you addressing loneliness in your workplace? What steps are you taking to foster connection at work?