The Power of Listening: 4 Steps to Stronger Work Relationships

Want to know a secret? Listening is the key to building stronger relationships. Think about the last conversation you had with someone at work.

Who were you speaking to? What were you talking about? And here’s the question that matters most: Did that conversation leave your relationship stronger, weaker, or in the same place as when you started?

From my research for both my books, Cultivate and You, Me, We, I’ve discovered something fundamental: our relationships at work and in life are the key to success—not just in business but in everything we do. And here’s what I’ve learned about leadership: it’s all about mastering the art of listening—not just nodding along or hearing the words, but truly being present and engaged.

I’ll be honest with you—I’ve sometimes been a terrible listener. Just ask my sons when they were younger! They would pop into my home office with questions, and I discovered that if I said “yes,” they would disappear and let me focus on my work. The irony? I listen deeply to the leaders I coach. Yet, I excused my bad habit of listening shallowly, if at all, to my own family.

The Difference Between Hearing and Listening

To be clear, hearing is not the same as listening.

You might think you’re a great listener (don’t we all?), but here’s the truth. You can have perfect hearing and still be a genuinely dreadful listener. Think of it this way:

• Hearing occurs when sound waves hit your eardrums, and your brain processes them. It’s automatic and passive—like those students in Charlie Brown, when the teacher speaks, they hear “Wah Wah Wah.”
• Listening? Now, that’s an entirely different kettle of fish. Listening is active. It’s making a conscious effort to understand what’s being said and to connect with the person in front of you. It’s about being fully present.

A simple concept with challenging execution. Active listening has become increasingly rare in our world of constant notifications and endless distractions. But here’s the good news: listening is a skill; like any skill, it can be improved with practice. All it takes is intentionality and a shift in mindset. Listening is a choice.

How to Make Listening Your Leadership Superpower

So, let’s make it practical. Here are four simple tips to help you go from hearing to really listening:

1. Be curious. Ask open-ended questions and genuinely care about the answers. (Yes, people can tell when you’re faking it.)
2. Stay focused. Make eye contact. Pay attention to non-verbal cues—what’s not being said is often just as important.
3. Put the distractions away. Yes, that means your phone or the other tabs on your computer. Out of sight, out of mind.
4. Listen more than you speak. You’ve got two ears and one mouth—use them in that ratio.

Here’s the magic of listening: when someone feels truly heard, they feel valued, respected, and cared for. And when people know that you care? That’s when the magic happens. Collaboration thrives, trust builds, and relationships flourish.

Listening With Intention: A Challenge for Your Next Conversation

Think about this: What if every conversation you had left the other person feeling seen, heard, and appreciated? What would that do for your team? Your career? Your relationships?

It would be transformative. And the best part? It’s entirely within your control.

So here’s my challenge to you: In your next conversation—whether with a colleague, an employee, or someone in your personal life—please focus on what you want to learn from them—not “What do I need to say?” but “What do I want to discover?”

Try it. Listen with intention. The results may surprise you.