How to Love Your Professional Relationships (In a Totally Appropriate Way)

It’s that time of year again—hearts, flowers, and chocolates everywhere remind us to nurture our personal relationships. But what about our professional ones? Why don’t we show the same level of care to the professional relationships that fuel our work lives?

Before you hit “report to HR,” don’t worry—this isn’t about that kind of love. But it is about how to invest in your work relationships in a perfectly HR-approved way (though, if you’re offering dark chocolate, I won’t say no!).

Why Professional Relationships Matter (More Than You Think)

If relationships are meaningful in life, they’re even more critical at work. You spend 40+ hours a week (probably more!) with colleagues—often more time than with your loved ones. Some call their closest colleague a “work spouse,” but I prefer Ally. In You, Me, We, we emphasize how having allies at work can make you a better leader, improve results, and boost engagement. A Harvard Business Review article found that strong work relationships don’t just predict happiness—they significantly impact long-term career success and income.

So, why not invest in your professional relationships with the same care you show your personal ones?

How to Love Your Professional Relationships (In a Totally HR Appropriate Way)

Whether you already have a “work spouse” or want to cultivate allies, these simple Do’s and Don’ts from Cultivate and You, Me, We will help you build winning relationships.

DO: Identify Your Significant Others (at Work). You don’t have the time to build deep relationships with everyone, so be strategic. Write down three key goals you need to achieve in the next few months and list the 3–5 people who can help—or hinder—your success. These are your critical professional relationships. As we emphasize in You, Me, We, invest time in them—your results will depend on it.

DO: Break Out of Your Comfort Zone. Reach out to colleagues you don’t know well. In Cultivate, we talk about how intentional relationships are key to success. So, when you’re in the cafeteria or a virtual meeting, start a conversation with someone new. You never know what connection might form.

DO: Say Thank You. Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to express gratitude, and as You, Me, We highlights, 87% of employees report feeling under-appreciated. A simple “thank you” goes a long way in strengthening relationships and boosting morale.

DO: Personalize Your Connections. Professional relationships are still relationships! Whether grabbing lunch or scheduling a virtual coffee, spending face-to-face time (or virtual face time) with colleagues strengthens those bonds. Be intentional about showing up, as we encourage in You, Me, We.

DO: Reflect and Learn.Take time to reflect on your work relationships each week. In Cultivate, we discuss how reflection helps you see things in a new light and improves how you connect with colleagues. Without the distractions of the busy workweek, you can plan how to strengthen your Ally relationships in the future.

Don’t: Focus Only on What You Can Get. An Ally relationship is about give-and-take. If you only reach out to someone when you need something, don’t be surprised if they’re unavailable when you really need them. The key is reciprocity—focusing on what you can give before thinking about what you can get, a practice rooted in abundance, as discussed in You, Me, We.

Don’t Stick to the Same Old Crowd. While many focus on building vertical relationships with senior leaders, horizontal connections across your organization are just as important. As we explain in Cultivate, a well-rounded network ensures you’re not limiting yourself to just one direction.

Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Relationship Basket. At least one strong ally relationship at work is excellent, but don’t neglect your other professional relationships. As we emphasize in You, Me, We, an ally mindset is about abundance. Spread the love and cultivate a broader network of allies to create a thriving “work family.”

DON’T: Multitask During Conversations. Nothing says “you’re not important”, quite like checking your emails while someone is talking to you. In Cultivate, we stress the importance of being present. If you’re building a relationship, give the person your full attention. The distractions can wait—people can’t.

DON’T: Cross the Line. Keep your professional relationships professional. In Cultivate, I outline how setting boundaries and clarifying expectations keeps relationships healthy. If a line is crossed, don’t be afraid to have the conversation and get things back on track.

How Will You Show Love to Your Professional Relationships This Year?

At the end of the Day, success at work isn’t just about what you do but who you do it with. This Valentine’s Day, while you’re thinking of loved ones, take a moment to reflect on the professional relationships that fuel your career. It’s the perfect opportunity to show your work relationships a little extra love—no flowers or chocolates required!

Looking to boost your connections at work? You, Me, We and Cultivate are the perfect pair to help you do that. Whether you grab one or both, these books offer practical insights and actionable tips that can transform how you build and maintain professional relationships. They’re designed to help you strengthen your network, foster collaboration, and ultimately achieve success with your colleagues. Share the love, and who knows? You might create a whole team of Allies!