Stop Trying to Win at Work (and Start Being More Successful)

If you’ve ever played Monopoly (especially with your family), you know that the only way to win is to be a ruthless land baron. You must embody your greediest self and hoard all the property, never giving anyone a break or a leg up, even your cute six-year-old cousin who’s never played the game. 

This Monopoly approach to winning appears logically transferable to life and work. If you want to succeed, you take all you can and keep it for yourself. And you never, ever share.

It’s similar to the “He who dies with the most toys, wins” philosophy, and it is unequivocally terrible for you, your relationships, and your organization.

The Problem with Being a Land Baron at Work

As leadership development consultants, we’ve seen the land baron approach play out countless times between co-workers, departments, and even high-ranking executives. And we can tell you that 100% of the time, it results in less camaraderie, less collaboration, and less joy (and don’t get us started on how it affects the bottom line or customer retention). 

For years now, we have asked participants in our keynotes and workshops about their experience of work. One of the key areas we highlight is the practice of abundance and generosity aka. the antidote to land baron-itis. The results are telling.

When abundance and generosity are lacking, our attendees experience workplace dynamics they describe like this:

These answers don’t inspire much confidence in their relationships at work. Who wants to spend 40+ hours a week in that kind of environment? Not. Us. (We’re guessing not you, either.)

So why doesn’t the “win at all costs” approach work?

Forget About Winning and Focus on Playing the Infinite Game

Operating like you’re in a game of Monopoly gives you a skewed view of the resources around you. If work is like a board game, then there’s only a finite amount of wealth, success, opportunity, etc. If you want to win, you’ll have to ensure no one else gets as much as you do. 

But that’s not the case. As Simon Sinek discusses in his book, The Infinite Game, life and business aren’t finite games with limited resources. They don’t have fixed rules or even a fixed endpoint. There are no winners or losers—just ahead and behind. 

The purpose is to go as far as you can with everyone else, not get whatever you can at the expense of others.

In other words, you don’t have to be ruthless in acquiring more. There is enough for everyone! And when you recognize there’s enough for everyone, it’s easier to choose a different approach.

Abundance & Generosity in the Ally Mindset^TM

In our new book, You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work (and How To Show Up As One!), we write about the Ally Mindset. The Ally Mindset helps you be an intentional, thoughtful leader who proactively chooses to benefit everyone around them. 

It’s made of five key practices that can revolutionize how you show up as a friend to others. (You can take our free Ally Mindset Profile to learn more about these practices and how well you implement them.)

If you’re trying to be the kind of friend we all want to have, you’ll have to start with the foundational practice of the Ally Mindset – Abundance & Generosity.

Abundance is a mindset, a belief that there are more than enough resources for everyone, and collaborating with others will create even more success. Generosity is the natural outpouring of an abundance mindset. It’s giving freely with, wait for it, no strings attached. Whether you’re coaching, mentoring, or sharing experiences and information, you’re helping everyone to win. 

You can’t be the kind of leader you want to be (and that your people need you to be) if you aren’t practicing abundance and generosity. They are the first steps in moving from a me-first to a we-first approach to relationships and leadership.

Why? Because they’re critical to developing ally relationships at work. If you want to make friends, you first have to be a friend… and that means sharing (gasp!). 

Even though you’re not in kindergarten anymore, the same relational dynamics apply. No one wants to be on the playground with the kid who won’t share. Don’t be that kid.

Fortunately, sharing with others is good for you too.

Abundance and Generosity Are a Gift You Give Yourself

There’s a counterintuitive power to abundance and generosity. 

Giving freely seems like it would deplete your internal, and possibly external, resources. There’s some truth to that idea, and it’s important you be as abundant and generous with yourself as you are with others. (Boundaries are healthy!)

At the same time, there’s ample evidence that the ROI for giving to others is well worth the effort. For example, a study by The Ascent revealed that highly generous people were 21% happier with their careers, 10% more likely to exercise, and more likely to have support from friends when they needed it.  

Practicing abundance and generosity infuses life with joy and meaning and sets off a cycle of reciprocal giving that deepens relationships and builds community.

It’s good for business too. Companies where employees freely share information and support keep institutional knowledge as workers retire, collaborate more effectively, and experience higher levels of trust. And they’re a lot more fun to work at.

Make Work (and Life) Lighter for Everyone

Land barons don’t make good teammates. They are ruthlessly focused on their own interests, often to the detriment of others around them. (Don’t be that person.)

But when you demonstrate abundance and generosity in your relationships at work, you lighten the load of those around you and make the game of life and work more joyous, fun, and, ultimately, more successful for everyone. 

Each act of generosity is a choice to live with an Ally Mindset, caring deeply about the success of the people around you and playing so everyone wins. Because everyone can.

Morag Barrett, CEO of SkyeTeam, is a sought out executive coach and member of the Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches organization. Eric Spencer is COO of SkyeTeam and passionate about developing high performing leaders and teams. Ruby Vesely is a valued executive coach and facilitator. Together they are the heart of SkyeTeam and international leadership development firm and the coauthors of You, Me, We. Why we all need a friend at work (and how to show up as one!)