Workplace Connection: Why We All Need a Work Mate (And No, The Office Dog Doesn’t Count)

Do you ever feel like you’re in a room full of people, drowning in a flood of virtual meetings, and yet somehow feel as connected as a printer without WiFi? You’re not alone. Loneliness at work and a lack of workplace connection is a quiet challenge that nobody talks about, undermining personal well-being and organizational success. And being surrounded by colleagues doesn’t necessarily fix it.

Here’s the real issue: leaders often feel it the most. They walk around seemingly connected, with a diary packed with meetings, yet feeling like Billy No-Mates. Recently, a leader I was coaching confided, “I have no one I can talk to about the challenges I’m facing.” It’s a sentiment that resonates across all levels of leadership – this sense of isolation in a crowded room.

The thing is, we’re missing the point when it comes to workplace connection. We’re so focused on tasks and goals that we forget to check how people are doing. And no, a quick “how are you?” before diving into the next deadline doesn’t quite cut it.

In our book You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work (and How to Show Up as One), we explore how meaningful workplace relationships can transform not just individual wellbeing but the entire organization. Our research has shown that leaders who lack allies or trusted confidants at work struggle with a sense of isolation, which trickles down to their teams, impacting morale and performance.

The Real Cost of Loneliness

Let’s be honest: loneliness at work doesn’t just make you feel off – it has serious consequences. We’re talking lower productivity, higher turnover rates, and the kind of disengagement that affects everyone. According to Cigna’s research loneliness is actually as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day – though taking up smoking definitely isn’t the answer.

Even more telling is what our Ally MindsetTM Profile revealed: over 20% of leaders confessed they had no friends or allies at work. That’s one in five leaders going it alone, navigating their roles without trusted support. If you’re feeling that way, you’re not alone—but it’s a problem we need to address, and quickly. Lonely leaders are less likely to inspire or motivate their teams because they aren’t fully engaged themselves.

Understanding the Disconnect with Workplace Connection

One of the most significant issues regarding workplace connection is that we’re focusing on the wrong things. Sure, tasks and goals are essential, but we overlook the need to check in with how people are doing and how they are really doing. Our research at SkyeTeam shows that most employees feel their leaders are more concerned with what they’re doing (the tasks) than how they’re doing (emotionally and mentally). That lack of connection is a real barrier to forming meaningful relationships. Spoiler: your team can tell when you’re just ticking the box of a check-in versus genuinely caring.

In You, Me, We, we emphasize the importance of what we call “Connection and Compassion.” This practice is at the heart of combating loneliness at work—by showing empathy and connecting with your team members, you can foster more profound, more genuine relationships. Leaders who intentionally understand their teams’ emotional needs set the stage for meaningful workplace connection.

Making Workplace Connection Count: Practical Steps

Here’s the good news: you don’t need to overhaul everything overnight. A few intentional changes can make a real difference:

• Empathetic Leadership: Leading isn’t just about managing workloads but understanding people. Take a moment to ask, “How are you really doing?” – and mean it. You don’t need to be a therapist, but showing genuine interest goes further than you might think. The Ally Mindset we discuss in our book isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about being present and paying attention.
• Creating Safe Spaces: This isn’t about beanbags or breakout rooms (though comfortable chairs never hurt). It’s about creating an environment where people can speak up without judgment. When leaders show a bit of vulnerability themselves – sharing their own challenges – it gives others permission to do the same.
• Encouraging Peer Support: You don’t have to shoulder all the emotional weight yourself. Setting up peer mentorship or buddy systems can help create natural connections that make work feel more human. It taps into what we call “Abundance and Generosity”—creating a network of support rather than relying on one person.
• Making Technology Work For Us: Yes, we’re tired of video calls. But when used thoughtfully, technology can help bridge gaps, especially with remote teams. The key is keeping it human – sometimes, a quick message checking in on someone’s day can mean more than another formal meeting.
• Rethinking Team Building: Let’s be honest – nobody really enjoys forced fun. Modern team building should focus on creating natural opportunities for people to connect. It doesn’t need to involve trust falls or escape rooms (unless your team actually wants that). It’s about creating spaces where relationships can develop naturally.
• The Power of Being Real: Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s actually your secret weapon. When leaders admit they sometimes feel uncertain or isolated, they become more approachable and real. It shows your team that it’s okay to be human, and that’s when genuine connections start to form.

Building Better Workplace Connection: One Conversation and One Relationship at a Time

At its heart, combating loneliness at work is about making small, intentional choices that build trust and create a more inclusive environment. It’s about showing your team they matter – not just for what they do, but for who they are.

The next time you’re about to dive straight into tasks, pause for a moment. Ask how your team is really doing. Listen to the answer. Sometimes, the smallest moments can make the most significant difference to workplace connection.

Remember, we’re all in this together. And while that might sound a bit cliché, it’s true – we all need somebody to share the journey with, even if it’s just someone to moan about the printer.